I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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