just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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