Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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