Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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