just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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