There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
3pm strippers are depressing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
