What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
