you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
