I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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