have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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