come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
