I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
