Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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