i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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