I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
