I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
