are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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