areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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