Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
