Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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