you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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