i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
...so i touched it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My dad just said "fuck circus"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
