Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
