I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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