They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
