What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
