I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
