Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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