'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and she was petting her beer can
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
