Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The power of my boobs compel you
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize