I heard we made out
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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