What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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