I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
