DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize