this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
