they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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