I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
