He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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