i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
