dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
