We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
