Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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