Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Quick, to the slutcave!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
