hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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