You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
