So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
