i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
