This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
