I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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