sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
