Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Non-Jews are for practice
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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