That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
