i barfeds in our rink
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
