She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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