Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
