Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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