yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
