Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
pray to the hookup gods
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
