I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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