Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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