White coat. Heels.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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