Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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