woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize