ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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