Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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