I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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